Seven Steps for Successful Life Transitions©
This is designed to help you through the process of change. Any person, place, emotion or idea that limits you must be released so that you may remain open to new possibilities. This simple, yet profound, system will also help you through any type of change that may occur in your life, including divorce, deaths, moving or career changes.
You can use the Seven Steps to release the anger you are holding about a person. You can also forgive yourself for the shortcomings that keep you from being the kind of person you know you can be. You may need to release positive things in order to make room for greater good! For example, you might release your attachment to a job you love when you get an opportunity for a better position.
Change is unavoidable. Your ability to handle these experiences gracefully, and not hold on to the pain of change, enables you to be successful in life. You will then be open-minded to the new options that come your way.
You can implement this Seven Step formula in conjunction with, the previous Power Tools of Meditation and Journaling. Begin with a journal or notebook that you can dedicate to this healing method. During each meditation session, visualize a secure and sturdy staircase. Feel confident that these steps will provide support as you undergo your shift in consciousness. You might imagine stairs made of solid gold gleaming brightly in the sunlight. Regardless of your imagery, see yourself standing on the particular step with which you are presently working.
As significant thoughts arise, alternate meditation with writing. You might complete this process in one sitting, or take one step a day for a week. It could be more comfortable to work on a step for many days before moving ahead. Don’t constrain yourself if your ideas seem to be unrelated to the actual step. You may even find you need to work on Step 4 of Disappointments before the Good Times of Step 2. Do not worry about the order. Flow with your consciousness and be open to what it is being revealed to you at that moment.
Here are some guidelines for each stage of the Seven Step process:
Step 1: Gratitude and Acceptance
The first step is to acknowledge the importance of the person or experience, whether the circumstances are good or bad. Gratitude opens your mind to accept that a greater wisdom is at work in your life. You can understand the situation at a deeper level and see its true purpose.
This step is also designed to help you loosen your emotional grip on the issue so that you gain a new perspective on the problem.
You could write an opening prayer such as, “Thank You God for this situation. Although I don’t yet understand the deeper reasons as to why this happened, I am open to receive the wisdom hidden in these events.”
Contemplate what you are grateful for concerning the person or circumstance, and how this experience has been important to you. Write your ideas as you think of them.
Journaling Ideas for Step 1
1) What are you thankful for regarding this relationship or situation?
2) What have you gained from the relationship or situation?
3) How has this person or circumstance been important in your life?
Step 2: Good Times
On this step, reflect on the positive side of your experience. Recall the help and support you and the person gave each other. Remember the fun you had and the joy you shared. Fondly reminisce about parties, happy events, vacations, and unique occasions. Stimulate your memory by looking at photographs or listening to special songs.
By processing and releasing the good times, you will be open to even greater good in the future. If you honestly can’t think of anything pleasant or redeeming, give yourself permission to move forward to the next step.
Journaling Ideas for Step 2
1) How did this person or situation bring joy to your life?
2) List the happy times you remember.
Step 3: Unfulfilled Hopes and Missed Opportunities
Now is your chance to ponder the could-have-beens, the would-have-beens, and the should-have-beens. Think about what you wished you had said or done, and what you hoped the other person had said or done. Acknowledge your feelings of loss regarding your lack of fulfillment. This step is likely to bring up powerful emotions of sadness, anger or guilt. Don’t be afraid to experience and journal the intensity of your feelings, since this is precisely your road to healing.
Unfulfilled desires keep you in a vicious cycle of obsessive thought. By recognizing and releasing your hopes and dreams, you diffuse the emotional energy attached to them. Whether you realize it or not, your future is created by your past and present desires.
Journaling Ideas for Step 3
1) How did you expect the other person to behave, or what outcome did you expect from the situation?
2) How do you wish you had behaved?
3) What did you most want from the other person or situation?
4) What remains unfulfilled regarding this person or situation?
Step 4: Disappointments and Difficulties
Your work on the Third Step of Unfulfilled Hopes will naturally lead to a greater exploration of your negative feelings. Continue to remember the difficulties you faced. Journal as you think about what happened and how these events changed the way you feel about yourself and the other people involved. Consider how your expectations of the person or situation failed you.
Don’t judge your emotions if they don’t seem to make sense. For instance, you might feel angry with someone who died, even though you had a positive relationship, or you feel ashamed at the depth of your grief over a small situation. It is important to let everything come to the surface in order to cleanse it out of your consciousness.
At times it could feel that you are drowning in emotions that are confusing and overwhelming. You might feel you will never get through to the other side. It is essential to know that you are in the midst of a process that has a beginning, middle and an end. Even though it’s challenging, confronting your intense emotions will heal you. The Universe can transform that negative energy into powerful fuel for your future happiness.
Journaling Ideas for Step 4
1) Why are you angry, sad or resentful with this person or situation?
2) List specific incidents that caused you disappointment.
3) What was the greatest challenge you encountered?
4) What decisions, attitudes or beliefs do you now have because of these disappointments? How do they affect your life?
Step 5: Forgiveness
On this step, actively choose to move beyond the pain. Make the decision to accept that the experience happened. You can, however, release your concepts as to why it happened and how it might affect your life in the future. Forgiveness takes time because you are working through all the emotions from the four previous steps.
As you attempt to forgive, you may realize your ego is hanging onto bitterness. Remember that righteous anger drains your energy so you have no fuel to ignite new life possibilities. Relinquish your feelings of resistance, resentment, and revenge! Forgiveness transforms negativity and bridges the distance between yourself and others.
In addition to forgiving the person in meditation, you might ask for the person’s forgiveness as well. It could be necessary to forgive yourself for your part in creating the circumstances.
An example of a forgiveness meditation could be visualizing light filling your heart. See yourself standing by the fire of love with the person you are forgiving, as you watch your pain and anger burn in the flames. Feel joyous, knowing you are both free from the destructive energy that was between you.
You may even like to create a personal ritual that symbolizes your willingness to forgive. Maybe you could burn the pages of your journal. You could toss stones into a river, lake or ocean. Each stone could represent a good time, unfulfilled hope or challenging experience.
Whether you process your Forgiveness Step by means of meditation, journaling, ritual or a combination of these techniques, you will know you have completed this step when your mind feels at peace.
Journaling Ideas for Step 5
1) What is the hardest thing to forgive regarding this person or situation? Why?
2) How will your lack of forgiveness affect your life in the future?
3) What is causing you not to forgive?
4) How will your life improve if you do forgive?
Step 6: Review and Release
The Sixth Step gives you time to review your progress. You are preparing to fully release your memories, both positive and negative, as well as your dashed hopes, broken expectations and disappointments. If you feel resistance, go back and revisit some of the earlier steps. When you are ready, visualize the person having experiences that are meaningful and fulfilling. If you’re releasing a challenging situation, imagine events coming into alignment that allow for a smooth transition. See yourself happy and at peace in your new circumstances.
The Step of Release gives you the freedom to look at your life differently and make new choices.
Journaling Ideas for Step 6
1) List the positive events you can imagine happening for the other person.
2) Write about how this difficult situation could be harmoniously resolved.
3) How will letting go change your life for the better? Outline positive changes you can anticipate.
4) Is there anything you are holding inside that you are afraid to address? If so, what is it?
Step 7: Completion
Completion is the final step of this process. Create closure in a way that is significant for you. Perhaps you can say a powerful prayer such as, “I am grateful for all the lessons and growth that have come through this experience. I am now ready to open myself to new horizons that offer many exciting alternatives!”
This is an important occasion. Celebrate and acknowledge the spiritual work you have accomplished. Now you can eagerly await your new opportunities.
Journaling Ideas for Step 7
1) How do you see your circumstances differently now that you have uncovered information by means of this Seven Step process?
2) Do you feel inwardly resolved and ready to complete this process?
Excerpted from Spiritual Power Tools: Support for Your Soul
© 2004 by Jane E. Hart